Introduction.
It is said that failing is an integral aspect of human frailties, which cannot be avoided, but what really matters is how you handle it eventually. You can't help failing, but handle it to your advantage, if and when it happens. After all, failure is said to be a much better teacher in life than success ever was or will be. Every one has failed at something one time or another, but that should only spur you to try even harder.Ever tried and failed? Then, try again and again, it a sure way to success. Though failing is really no fun when it happens, but you can't help it from happening, however you try, unless you plan not to try anything at all, which is literally impossible. The objective of this article is to guide you on how best to handle failure whenever it happens, because it surely will, no matter how much you try to avoid that. Below are tips on how best to handle the inevitable fate of failing at something, whatever it is and however you may desire it.
(1). ACCEPT HOW YOU FEEL.
Whenever you fail, it is almost certain for it to be painful, sometimes a tweeny bit, and at other times a lot. That's okay in itself, but do not try to push it way. For one, it won't just go away like that, however hard you may try. Then, what do you do? Don't allow to let yourself be guided away by impulses and poor options. Try to accept how you feel, let it sink in and hurt you for a while rather than trying to either reject it all or keep it away. Accepting and allowing it to sink will eventually make it go away much faster, and in the long run, it will obviously be less painful too. Should you make the mistake of trying to reject those bile feelings, they will surely pop up at very unexpected times later on and can make you to become moody, pessimistic, angry or even sad. Trust me on this, it will if you allow it, so don't.
(2). NEVER FORGET THAT YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE BECAUSE OF A MINOR SETBACK.
Whenever you face any setback, it becomes easy to start thinking that you are likely to always keep failing in that particular area of life. In other words, you may start thinking that you are indeed a failure. No, you are not, and nobody really is, until they convince themselves that they are. Do not, I repeat, do not fall for such cheap destructive and sometimes seductive self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead, remind yourself always that: simply because you have failed today or yesterday or at any other time, does not mean that you will fail the next time you try. No, it really doesn't in anyway. This cycle is not going to last for the rest of your life if you keep striving to move forward, if you take action and you keep learning. It cannot label you as some kind of failure, except if you decide to create that label in yourself. Always try to see any negative development as a temporary thing rather than something which is permanent, a sort of essential key to an optimistic attitude and to always keep moving forward in life.
(3). BE CONSTRUCTIVE AND LEARN FROM EVERY SITUATION.
Try to always see failure more like an important feedback and something you can use in order to improve rather than as a big blow and setback. The simplest and most helpful way to do that is by asking yourself better questions rather those questions that can send you off into a negative spiral. Some of these questions are:
* What is the one thing I can learn from this failure?
* How can I adjust the course to avoid this trap or making the same mistake, and to possibly do better subsequently.
* What is the one thing I can do differently next time?
Mull over these questions and others positively, and be honest with yourself while doing so. There's no need to rush the process, since some of the answers may be immediate while others may take time, possibly an hour, a day or even a whole week. What really matters is the result in the end and not how long it takes you to find one. Start thinking about the situation from this perspective and to always be constructive about things instead of getting stuck in any denial or negativity and possibly even apathy too.
(4). REMIND YOURSELF THAT TO DO ANYTHING OF VALUE IN LIFE, YOU MUST EXPECT TO FAIL.
Often, we hear about the success of others but do not really care to know how they got there. In reality, the path to those milestones tends to be replete with obstacles of varying challenges. After all, the story of someone's success as told in the media may seem only bright and fast moving because the essential obstacles and impediments encountered were left out. Success has a price and we have all got to pay it. So, get ready to pay yours and dispense with the notion that it can remain blissful all through to the end, because it can't. Any rosy story was nightmarish sometime in the past, learn to live with that. To further corroborate this notion, I will go all out to quote Michael Jordan, the famous American Basket Ball legend:
" I have missed more than 900 shots in my career, I have lost almost 300 games in total, twenty six times I have been trusted to take the winning shot of the game, but I ended up missing. I have failed over and over again in my life without count, but it in the end, I have succeeded. That's why I succeed." You really can't miss the essence of this quotation, can you?
(5). LET IT OUT INTO THE LIGHT.
An alternative means of dealing effectively with the emotional feelings and fallout of failing is to not keep it all bottled up inside, but to let it out into the light by talking it over with someone close to you. If you vent it out while the other person only listens, you will most likely sort out things for yourself, help yourself to accept what has happened rather than trying to push it away and release that inner pressure. If you have a conversation on it with another person, you are likely to see things in a different perspective. He/she may assist you to ground yourself in reality again, encourage you or even assist you to find a way forward.
(6).FIND BOTH INSPIRATION AND SUPPORT FROM YOUR WORLD.
Any conversation with someone close to you can be very helpful. Furthermore, learn from those who have gone to where you are going and concentrate on how they managed to make it work, how they handled setbacks and low points before or during their successes in books, websites or online forums.
(7). MOVE FORWARD AGAIN.
Don't make the mistake of sticking in one place and mulling the situation. over repeatedly for too long. Process the situation and accept it as essential and move on. Though it is tempting to easily get stuck in the same thoughts going around and around for sometime, but try to avoid that.
(8). TAKE ACTION ON THAT PLAN PROMPTLY.
Start to put in motion any other plan you may have to get you back on track once again. Most times, it is easy to procrastinate because you dread failing again or because it is difficult to start moving again after any rough and disorienting experience you may have, but try. Make up another plan and strategize. The most important thing is to make sure that you don't stagnate because of one, two or three hard luck stories.
(9). IMPROVE YOUR SELF ESTEEM.
Improving your self esteem, will ensure that nothing drags you down again, which will also aid you to recover quickly too. It will also help you to see the events that happened before with more clarity and to take responsibility for your actions.
Notably, in order to overcome failure in life, you must ensure to observe the following without fatigue: understand that failure is the key to success and not otherwise, remain calm and reflect on what has happened, learn from your failures, never rationalize your failure, regain your self confidence and finally, stay in the present but not the past. Do these, and you'll be good in your next venture. Don't look, feel and live a failure.
Conclusion.
Nobody can avoid failing at one time or another, but if and when that happens, strive to conquer it and never allow it to make you lose confidence in yourself. Use any failure you might have faced as an impestus or catalyst to future success. You can conquer failure if you stay resolute and focused. That is the very reason why failure is said to be a better teacher than success ever was or will ever be. This should do for now as far as failure goes.
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